I am slow. No, no. I don't mean mentally slow. Ok, well I may be a little slow up in the attic (proven by how many? of my previous posts), but that is certainly the fault of my offspring and the intellectual capacity of mine that they have sucked right outta me. But I'm not talking about that kind of slow. I'm talking about a physiological sluggishness. Seriously.
Case in point: Well, I was getting out of the shower tonight (*exciting side note: that was the second shower today! That's right two showers in the same day! I don't remember when that last happened! Of course even memories of things as recent as this last week are fuzzy, and I'd say that it could have been a couple of days ago but those of you who keep up with me on Facebook know all about my FB confessions and that I don't always get a shower every day...) Where the hell was I? Ok, drying off from my second.--yeah, baby, that's right, victorious!--shower of the day, I realized that my back was peeling. What am I? Some sort of skin-peeling lizardy-reptilian creature? Then I recalled my sunburn...when the heck was that (gotta go check...). Ok, on the 3rd of April...so that's over two weeks ago, and I'm just now peeling? See? Physiologically Slow. Fact. As proven by the shedding.
And this brings me to an update on my whole I Don't "Go" On Diets I Eat Healthy Hey! I Think I'll Try The Slim Fast Plan saga. So as I said in my last post I lost two pounds over Easter, in spite of my manic indulgence in choc--...Now wait. I'm not gonna totally rehash the events of said week, as they have since brought me much anguish and dissappointment. You may be wondering why a two pound weight loss would cause "anguish" and "dissappointment"? Well, fine, I'll tell you why...because the following week...the week when I actually steered clear of those sinful, seemingly-innocent, peanut-buttery, pseudo-egg shaped, chocolate-covered, cellulite-loving, Reese's bastards...I gained two pounds. Yeah, more than a week after my sloven indulgence I gained two pounds. Not when I weighed myself a few days after the train-wreck occurred...but rather a whole week after the I Live For Chocolate Week weigh in. Really? I mean, who does that?? Whose body takes ten days to register a weight gain? See? Physiologically, I'm pokey. As proven by the shedding and now the delayed weight gain.
On the bright side (can you see my eyes rolling?), those two weeks cancelled each other out. And then this last week?
Nada. Zip. Zilch.
And I thought I did pretty well, steering clear of high-fat, high-calorie foods, doin' the Slim Fast meal replacements twice a day and eating healthy snacks and a meal. And as anyone who has ever tried to knows, losing weight seems to take much longer than gaining weight. But the scale read the same this week as it did last week. I guess maybe I'll see this current weeks weight loss sometime, you know, later this year, or maybe in 2011. Truthfully, I'm fairly certain that it's my scale that's slow...not me. And so yeah, I'll blame my peeling skin on that damn scale too. And the sunburn in the first place. How's that?
If you have an ipod touch or iphone, there's a great app that does a 'tap and track' for all the food you eat. You may be eating all those flavorless 100 calorie snacks and being good, but without a food journal, you may not realize how often you eat. Seriously, I was shocked when I sat down one day and thought about how many 'low fat' foods I ate in a day. Once I started tracking it, it was much easier to say no!
ReplyDelete