Slim Fast-er Please

So not counting my teenage years, when brain function dictates that at least 51% of actions and decisions shall be stupid, I have mostly stuck with the philosophy that "diets" don't work. I believe that the best way to lose weight healthfully is to alter one's eating habits: to make better, smarter, food choices. I don't believe that "going on a diet" makes any sense, seeing as how a person's diet refers to what they eat...not a weightloss plan.  And the only way to lose weight sensibly and keep it off is to change the diet, not "go on" a diet.  That just doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me.

And so, here I am, 3 weeks into The Slim Fast Meal Replacement plan.  No, I apparently haven't progressed much in brain power since my 15th birthday...so does that mean I'm aging well?!! Ok, sidetracked yet again by a topic for another post.  Focus, middle-aged mama, focus! So, yeah, I'm doin' the Slim Fast thing and it's going well: down 3 pounds in both of the first two weeks and 2 pounds lost in the 3rd week.  I'd say that's fabulously good seeing as how the middle of my Week 3 was riddled with Reese's peanut butter eggs and chocolate damn rabbits.

Have I ever mentioned that I love chocolate? I mean LOVE chocolate. Ok, no, not divorce-my-husband-and-marry-a-solid-chocolate-person kind of love.  But the most self destructive kind: the no-self-control love.  The kind where I don't buy chocolate to just "have around" and enjoy every once in a while because if it's in my house I will eat it.  I cannot wrap my brain around the notion that my husband can buy a single chocolate bar, put it in the freezer and leave it there for months. For Months.  Did you hear me??? I said FOR MONTHS.  I never even knew that was humanly possible, to have chocolate, paid for and in your domicile, and not eat it, and yet he does it. Or he used to. He has since learned that any chocolate put away for winter --or whatever the hell he's waiting for when he buys it and stashes it away like a damn chipmunk in the first place-- is just not safe in my house.  And so this is why I, generally speaking, do not buy chocolate except on special occasions for my special little people. Even then, I'm likely to try and snatch a little piece from the innocent youth in the family.  You know, only when they've gotten an absurd amount...and only when they're not looking.  Shut up! This is not confession and you are not even Catholic.  Sorry.  Those tiny voices again. 

So, yeah, 8 pounds down in spite of Easter? Heck yeah, I was pretty pleased.  So I did what any healthy, sensible, estrogen-filled being who loves chocolate would do in my position: on my next trip to the grocery store I purchased a package of 1/2 a dozen Reese's peanut butter eggs.  Afterall, they were on clearance. Practically impossible to not buy them.  And I am proud to say that I put them in the freezer when I got home. Or, at least, the four that were left.  And I noticed today  (a good 48 hours later, I might add *said quite proudly, bordering on arrogance*) a certain empty yellow and orange wrapper that my husband left on the counter.  Guess he found 'em in the freezer and figured he'd better grab one while he could.  No more storin' chocolate for that chipmunk.

So this Slim Fast thing is working out pretty well.  But I am mixing it up a little bit. Last week, while at Target one day in early afternoon I realized that I hadn't had my lunchtime Slim Fast shake, and I was hungry.  So that afternoon I went with the Snickers Meal Replacement.  You know... just keepin' it fresh.